


Hiccup

by our_winter



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 14:17:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4438706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/our_winter/pseuds/our_winter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why?”</p><p>His voice is barely a whisper and he thinks that Ronan hadn’t heard him but then he shrugs.</p><p>“Heard somewhere that you need scare someone to stop the hiccups.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiccup

Adam is sitting in the middle of his mattress trying to do his algebra homework when the hiccups start. Ronan looks at him from his spot on the floor with a raised eyebrow, he is petting Chainsaw’s head with the tip of his index finger, she cocks her head and is disturbingly how much she looks like him.

Adam’s shoulders jump up with the next hiccup making him scribble the sheet, he huffs and holds his breathe. Ronan is watching him with a smirk on his face. He ignores him. Seconds pass by and he starts to feel victorious when he hiccups again.

“Fuck.”

He places his homework in the mattress and walks to his sink to fill a cup, he swallows all the water in one go and waits. Sure as hell he hiccups again. He fills the cup one more time and takes small sips but he knows this will not work the moment he hiccups and chokes with the water. Ronan crackles on a laugh and Adam glares at him.

“Fuck you Lynch!”

He turns back and places the cup in the sink, he dries his face on his sleeve and hiccups again, with a sigh Adam turns to go back to his mattress but stop when he almost bumps into Ronan, the other boy don’t give him time to say anything, he cradles Adam’s face between his hands and places his lips upon Adam’s. It’s just a touch, the pressure barely there; Ronan’s hands are warm and calloused; his long eyelashes brush against his cheekbones; his lips soft and sweet. And Adam stops breathing. He can feel his heart beating on his temples, his entire body is frozen, something warm swirls into his gut, Ronan’s face is so close he can count every freckle on his skin.

Ronan takes a step back and Adam blinks owlish at him, he takes a long breath trying to think straight again.

“Why?”

His voice is barely a whisper and he thinks that Ronan hadn’t heard him but then he shrugs.

“Heard somewhere that you need scare someone to stop the hiccups.”

Turning he lifts his arm for Chainsaw, she flies and lands on his wrist. Together they make their way out of Adam’s apartment, leaving the other boy without a clue to what happened.

 

 

 

***

 

 

The problem is: Adam can’t stop thinking about the kiss. Ronan had kissed him, right? It’s been two weeks and Ronan hadn’t said anything, he was not avoiding Adam too, well, not openly. He talked with Adam and he sat by Adam’s side in the lunch and when they go to Nino’s. However, he hadn’t come to Adam’s apartment not even once in the last two weeks, Adam saw his car parked in the church parking lot but he had not dared to take the steps that would guide him till the source of his torments.

Today is not different. From his spot on his window he can see the BMW parked outside, Ronan had arrived half an hour ago and since then Adam kept pacing from one side to another in his apartment. He tried to concentrate on his homework and all the things he knows he need to do but he just _can’t_.

He broke his head in the last few days thinking about reasons for Ronan’s behavior. It’s normal to kiss your friends, right? People kiss their friends all the time, so why Ronan hadn’t kissed any of the others? He told Adam he had done that to stop the hiccups (and that worked), but he could have scared him in other ways, God knows Ronan knows scary things. And why he would think that a kiss would scare Adam? Surprise yes, but scare? Adam is not so sure if Ronan knew that was Adam’s first kiss. And that don’t really count as a kiss right? Their lips just brushed, was just enough for him to feel the pressure of Ronan’s lips.

With a sigh he stop trying to find reasons and concentrates on his feelings. That’s the dangerous part. The part Adam avoided till he understood that he can’t ignore really. Some nights he wakes in the middle of the night cold and trembling with the ghost of lips brushing his. Adam wonders how he could miss something he barely had. He catches himself staring at Ronan’s lips, longing his warmth and the feeling of his hands against his cheeks.

There’s something twisting into his stomach, something that looks almost like curiosity but Adam knows very well the pull on his gut, it’s something he felt most of his life. He _wants_. He wants to feel that again, wants to know how would be to kiss Ronan properly, he wants to touch, to hold, to smell him, discover what his lips taste like and if he would cut himself on them.

“Fuck this.”

He strides to his door and climbs the stairs down but stops the moment his fingers hold the doorknob. _What am I even going to say? If he doesn’t want this? If he is avoiding me because he doesn’t want to kiss me again?_ Adam silent enters the church. It’s dark, the only illumination coming from some candles and the light that comes from the streetlight. Ronan is sitting in one of the pews, Adam walks slowly to him, he doesn’t seem to notice Adam’s arrive, his elbows on his knees and his head on his hands, his shoulders tense when Adam sits beside him but he doesn’t look up. Adam looks forward and they stay silent, now that he is here he doesn’t know what he is supposed to say. _He should tell Ronan everything? Should tell everything that is swirling inside his mind? Everything he is feeling? How is this even supposed to work? How are you supposed to tell your friend you want to kiss him?_ Adam’s hands starts to tremble and he clenches them into fists.

“Spit it out Parrish!”

Ronan’s voice is harsh and when Adam looks at him he is looking right into Adam’s eyes, his face as hard as his voice, his eyes guarded, it’s a mask. Adam doesn’t want a mask.

“I…”

He swallows, opening and closing his mouth, the words seem trapped in his throat.

 “What you want Parrish?”

Ronan licks his lips and Adam follows the motion with his eyes, he takes a deep breath and looks into Ronan’s blue blue eyes.

“I want you to kiss me again, for real this time.”

Ronan stay silently looking at him, a sea of emotions crossing his features. He can see the fear and hurt in Ronan’s eyes. He is utterly terrified of what Adam is asking him. _How could he have been so blind? How did he not saw this?_ All Ronan’s glances, his gifts, Adam’s rent, the drives to the Barns. He is letting Adam know, he puts all the cards in Adam’s hands and is letting him take the first step, Ronan would never impose his wish, he would never force Adam into something he thinks he doesn’t want and now he thinks Adam is going to hurt him.

“I didn’t kiss you, I just helped to stop the hiccups.”

“Yeah, and now I want a kiss.”

“Not everybody can have what they want.”

Adam lowers his eyes and says softly back.

“I know that.”

Better than most of people, he adds to himself. Ronan doesn’t say anything for a moment then with the tip of his fingers holds Adam’s chin making him look up, his fingers are exactly how Adam remember them, their eyes lock and Ronan’s hand slides a little and now he is holding Adam’s jaw, Adam leans into his touch, he wants to close his eyes because Ronan’s stare is too strong, but at the same time he doesn’t want to miss a single second of this. Ronan moves closer, his knee touching Adam’s thigh, he leans forward slowly and is almost like he is giving Adam time to stop him. Adam doesn’t move. His lips brush Adam’s and is like Adam can breathe again, the feeling inside his stomach swirling and changing into something different, he wants _more_. His hands come up to hold the front of Ronan’s shirt and pull the other boy to him, Ronan traces his lower lip with the tip of his tongue and Adam opens his mouth with a sigh, Ronan deepen the kiss. Adam thinks maybe he is catching fire, his blood is running hot and fast into his veins, his fingers pulling Ronan to him till the other is straddling his lap, his mouth is open and he can’t remember how to breathe. Ronan’s fingers are running through his hair, teeth nibbling Adam’s lower lip, his chest warm and firm beneath Adam’s hands, lips soft and sweet, the kiss is slow, not exactly tentative but more like they’re saving the moment into their memory.

Ronan breaks the kiss to trail a path of pecks along Adam’s jaw till the spot right under his ear that make Adam sighs and moan softly, the other boy leans back a little to look right into Adam’s eyes, Ronan’s eyes are dark, his pupils dilated and hungry, for a moment seems like he is going to say something but then he leans back and kiss Adam again. It’s hard now, fiercer, like Ronan wants to absorb him, like he could make their limbs mend for pure willpower; Adam’s hands circle his torso to press above his shoulder blades and pulls the other even more to him, Adam can feel every part of his body touching him, the back of his thighs against Adam’s, his lips demanding and taking everything Adam is giving him, his fingers are laced through Adam’s dusty hair tilting his head to give him better access to his mouth. Adam melts under his touch, taking as much as he gives, his fingers press so hard into Ronan’s flesh he thinks that his fingertips will be burned there for the rest of their lives. Ronan smells like leather and gasoline and something _holy_. Adam wonders if doing this makes him a sinner, he would be damned to hell and doesn’t care even a bit if this means he could do this.

Ronan breaks their kiss again and Adam takes a deep breath, his hands sliding to rest in Ronan’s waist and his forehead onto Ronan’s chest.

“Good enough for you?”

Ronan’s voice is distant, his hands leaving Adam’s hair. Adam leans back to look at him, his face guarded and hard, Adam’s heart falters a beat.

“I…”

Ronan stands and starts to walk away before he can say anything.

“Call someone else next time you want to make out.”

Adam doesn’t move for a moment, he just keeps blinking at the now empty space in front of him and feeling cold where Ronan had been touching him. He stands and runs after him, the other boy had almost reached the doors with his longer strides.

“Ronan.”

He doesn’t turn, Adam grabs his wrist but Ronan pulls away like had been burned by the touch.

“What?”

Ronan spits turning to him. Adam doesn’t think, he just encircles his arms around Ronan’s waist and buries his face in the crook of Ronan’s neck. The other boy stays still for a moment, his body tense and then cautiously he circles his arms around Adam too. Adam couldn’t bear the look on Ronan’s face, he looked so utterly terrified and little by little Adam starts to understand every one of Ronan’s actions. He had kissed Adam that first day because he thought that was the only chance he would get, and avoided Adam after because he thought Adam was going to turn him down; he kissed Adam this time because Adam had asked him and now he thinks Adam is doing some kind of experience with him. Adam was too blind before to see the way Ronan look at him, his longing and his fear. Ronan wants him but he is too afraid of losing Adam to really say something. Ronan had lost too much in his life and Adam thinks he couldn’t handle losing even more. Adam had had so little on his life, mainly when this comes to affection, he don’t want to lose Ronan’s warmth never again, he wants to be a safe haven to Ronan as much as he wants Ronan be for him.

He inhales Ronan’s smell deeply, Ronan is holding him tightly against his body. They don’t talk and they don’t move, both boys just stay there feeling the other, the comfort and warmth irradiating where they touch. Adam feels his body relax, all the tenseness drain from his veins, that feeling that just comes when you hug someone for a long time, time enough for you to feel a little dizzy and like everything is fine in the world.

“Why you kissed me?”

He whispers softly, Ronan takes a deep breath but don’t try to pull away.

“Because I wanted.”

“I want you to do this again.”

Ronan stays quiet, his breathes slow and calmly against the side of Adam’s neck. After a long time he says softly back.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Adam can feel his smile when he kisses the side of Adam’s head. They stay there holding each other in the quiet church.


End file.
